The 2019-20 curling season is under way (does it ever really end??) and competitive curlers across the land have brought out their Sharpies to circle a date on their calendars two years’ hence.
Oh, they care about the Grand Slam events and they care about the provincials early next winter, and they care about the Brier and Scotties, to be played in Kingston, Ont., and Moose Jaw respectively, and they care about the world curling championships in late spring, but what they are really concentrating on is qualifying for the Canadian Olympic Curling Trials in Saskatoon starting Nov. 27, 2021.
Winners on the men’s and women’s side in Saskatoon will proudly wear the Maple Leaf at the 2022 Olympic Games in Beijing, and all the shuffling of personnel that took place among rinks within the last 18 months or so was done with the Trials in mind.
The dominos started falling at the end of the curling season in the spring of 2018. Marc Kennedy, Kevin Koe’s vice-skip, decided to retire. Recruited to fill his spot was B.J. Neufeld, who was available after members of the Mike McEwen rink scattered. McEwen joined forces with fellow Manitoba skip Reid Carruthers, which left a number of curlers in the Keystone Province in a ‘free agency’ situation, so to speak.
Then, this past spring, third Ryan Fry left Brad Jacobs’ rink after a controversial winter, and hooked up with the John Epping foursome from Toronto, bumping Craig Savill into involuntary retirement. Fry’s spot was immediately filled by Kennedy, who decided one year away from competitive curling was enough to recharge his batteries.
The Pinty’s Grand Slam season starts in Chatham, Ont., this week, with the Elite 10, a big money event featuring the world’s top 10 men’s and women’s rinks. World Curling Tour events continue all winter, with the Brier and world championships highlighting the spring curling season. But Canada’s best curlers will be merely using 2019-20 as a tuneup for the biggie — 26 months from now in Saskatoon.
For Canadian curlers, Olympic redemption will be on their minds. Koe’s Canadian rink finished fourth, out of the medals in PyeongChang, as John Shuster’s American foursome shocked the curling world. On the women’s side, Ontario’s Rachel Homan had a miserable event, finishing out of the playoffs as Sweden’s Anna Hasselborg won gold.
- Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times: “The ‘fair-price’ payout by the Tooth Fairy has skyrocketed to $3.70, according to a survey commissioned by Delta Dental. Which is certainly good news if you’re an 8-year-old or a hockey player.”
- RJ Currie of sportsdeke.com: “Historians say the practice of setting figures a penny short of one dollar began roughly a century ago. It continues today with 99-cent stores and Canadian Football League salaries.”
- Another one from Perry: “The worst city in the U.S. to drive around in, according to a WalletHub.com survey, is Detroit. Unless, that is, you happen to be at Ford Field driving against the Lions’ defence.”
- NBC’s Al Michaels, after Antonio Brown landed in Rhode Island via private jet en route to suiting up with the Patriots: “Good thing he didn't have to go through baggage claim because he’s got a lot of baggage.”
- Not funny, but statistically weird: In mid-September, Major League Baseball tweeted that Giants manager Bruce Bochy, who has been managing in the big leagues from 1995-2019, had a won-lost record of 1,995-2,019. We kid you not.
- Humorist Brad Dickson of Omaha, not a fan of Colorado football mascot Ralphie the Buffalo: “How obnoxious is Ralphie? Even PETA said, ‘Go ahead – use him for animal experiments.’”
- Comedy writer Jim Barach: “Cleveland Browns say they are still looking for the fan who dumped a beer on the Titans Logan Ryan. Although the investigation has stalled as no true Browns fan would ever see fit to waste a beer.”
- Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg: “Triple Crown winner Justify tested positive for drugs and should not have been allowed to run in the Kentucky Derby. They suspected Justify was on drugs when he asked to be traded from the Raiders to the Patriots.”
- Another one from Kaseberg: “Odell Beckham Jr. said he will keep wearing is $250,000 watch during games despite the NFL's rule against it. It is a special watch, it tells Odell down to the split second when the Cleveland Browns will lose.”
- Headline at TheOnion.com: “Sam Darnold’s mono diagnosis forces Jets to crack down on kissing in huddle.”
- Mike Hart of the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, on Browns receiver Odell Beckham Jr. wearing a $250,000 watch: “Well, they were losing by 30. He had to make sure he was on time for the team bus.”
- Norman Chad of the Washington Post: “I hate to state the obvious, but why wouldn’t the NFL consider ‘Tuesday Night Football’ and ‘Wednesday Night Football’ as well?”
- Chad again: “The day that synchronized swimming incorporates replay challenges, I’ll know it’s all but over.”
Care to comment? Email brucepenton2003@yahoo.ca
