Marc Legare is a philosopher and motorcycle adventurist.
He has travelled extensively, worked and lived in Australia, US, and across Canada.
He has a varied working career including: Firefighter, Lawyer, Navy, Motorcycle Importer, plus others.
He chose to return to southern Saskatchewan because of his family's deep roots here.
It is a commonly held ideology that we should have no regrets. That we should not allow regret to dampen our spirit and that it is a waste of time, energy, and is life destroying. In reality, the opposite is true. It is valuable, enriching, and growth-making. There is a certain integrity to it, especially when a regret is regarding something that has negatively impacted others.
On some level, having the audacity to not have regret demonstrates a person who thinks they are super-human. After all, a person who does not regret must believe everything they have done was a net good, or, at a minimum, not serious enough to have appropriate remorse. That is astoundingly self-aggrandizing. Not having regrets shows a mentality of a person who believes their actions are all about themselves alone and the impact of those actions upon others is meaningless.
Not regretting harmful actions demonstrates a willingness to re-offend. How many of us, when deleteriously affected by another, would be pleased with that person being completely unrepentant? Furthermore, how many of us would trust someone who offended us and was not regretful?
We all make mistakes, and invariably some of those mistakes have harmed others, or society as a whole. Therefore, if someone claims not to have regret, they are dismissing that damage and are living in an ego state where their happiness is the only thing that matters.
We have a name for people who have no regrets. They are called psychopaths. Only a psychopath feels nothing for others and has no empathy. Hence, they are the ones who would genuinely have no regrets.
What about dictators, tyrants, war mongers, murderers, and rapists? Should they be regretful? For those who think regret is foolish and a waste of energy, do they hold the same for those people? How distasteful is it to apply the "no regret" ideology to them.
It is very easy for someone to throw out a one-liner about having no regrets. But of course, that would only apply to themselves. They would have a very different opinion regarding those who offended them. Many, if not all, who defend the mentality of believing regret is nonsense, would expect others to be full of regret if they were the injured party. However, as with all beliefs, it cuts both ways. Shouldn't it?
Regretting mistakes is the only way to change ones' behaviours and be a better person. Without regret, the chance of making the same errors are high. After all, if you do not regret, what is stopping you from repeating your mistakes and why would you care?
Our world is full of self-centred attitudes. The philosophy of "no regrets" is arguably one of the most self-serving and egocentric beliefs of our modern time.
One of the rare philosophers who correctly rejects the notion that regret is bad was Thoreau who stated, "Make the most of your regrets; never smother your sorrow, but tend and cherish it till it comes to have a separate and integral interest. To regret deeply is to live afresh."
Most importantly, regret validates others, and that is the higher road.
The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author, and do not necessarily reflect the position of this publication.
