Clint Eastwood starred in the movie The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, but little did he know in 1966 it would turn into sports column fodder almost 60 years later. But hey, it’s the dog days of August, and the world of sports is filled with examples of all three of those title words, so let’s get to it.
The Good — Oh, Ohtani. Shohei Ohtani, the California Angels’ hitting and pitching stud is having perhaps the best season in MLB history. The American League leader in home runs is also one of the AL’s best pitchers, but his performance in a late July doubleheader in Detroit was stunning: A one-hit, complete game shutout in the opener, and two home runs in the nightcap. Wow! Just wow!
The Bad — The Edmonton Elks are becoming a punch line. The Canadian Football League team set a professional sports record by losing their 21st straight home game — a stretch going back to 2019. The Elks play in a city calling itself the “City of Champions.” Uh, right.
The Ugly — The spectacle of Bo Bichette rounding first base, changing his mind about going to second, and then limping to a halt when something popped in his right knee was an ugly scene for Blue Jays’ fans. Bichette, the team’s best hitter, was expected to miss about 10 games in early August, something the Jays definitely didn’t need if they hope to make the playoffs.
The Good — Summer MacIntosh has to be, hands down, our country’s female athlete of the year for 2023. She won two gold medals at the World Aquatic Championships in Japan in July (200-metre butterfly and 400-metre medley), adding to the two golds she won last year. She also anchored Canada’s 4x100-metre medley relay team.
The Bad — Canadian soccer fans had high hopes for our country’s women’s national team, at the FIFA World Cup. But a 4-0 thrashing by host Australia eliminated the Canadians, who were one of the favourites after winning gold at the 2020 Olympic Games (played in 2021 in Tokyo).
The Ugly — Bo Bichette’s haircut.
The Good — How amazing is Max Verstappen’s recent performances on the world Formula One racing circuit? He won seven consecutive races, giving his Red Bull team 12 straight victories and the question these days is not will Verstappen win the race, but by how much?
The Bad — All Bo Levi Mitchell had to do to wrap up a recent victory for Hamilton Tiger-Cats was take a knee to run out the clock. However, he decided to take the snap and plunge into the mass of humanity on the line. Ouch! Someone landed on his leg and he suffered a fracture. Bad play. Bad decision.
The Ugly — While all teams in the American League East are over .500, their ugly cousins — the A.L. Central — limp along in mediocrity. One team, likely Minnesota or Cleveland, will by default qualify for the playoffs, possibly with a sub-.500 record.
- RJ Currie of sportsdeke.com: “According to a recent poll, Draymond Green was the Warrior that Cavaliers fans hated most — by a wide margin. Title that one: Not Everybody Loves Draymond.”
- Headline at fark.com: “The Savannah Bananas have a rule that a foul ball caught by a fan is an out. Two outs in the ninth? This is why you bring your glove to the game.”
- Steve Simmons of Sunmedia, on the $360 million six-year contract signed by Jaylen Brown of Boston Celtics: “Jaylen Brown will be paid more than the Canadian Football League next season.”
- Headline on the Canadian parody website The Beaverton: “Blue Jays fan times bathroom breaks for when team has runners in scoring position to ensure he doesn’t miss any action”
- Comedy guy Torben Rolfsen of Vancouver, after the Pac 12 football conference lost five teams to rival conferences: “What is the Pac-12 Network going to show now — Three’s Company reruns?”
- Mike Vaccaro of the New York Post, on the NFL’s Hall of Fame game between the Jets and Browns: “If you watched that game to the bitter end the other night (raises hand, mutters ‘guilty’), then you really must reevaluate the way you parcel out your time.”
- Another one from Steve Simmons: “Should they change the name of the Edmonton Elks to the Edmonton L’s?”
- Columnist Phil Mushnick in the New York Post, on the Big Apple no longer classified as a ‘sophisticated’ sports town because of the Jets’ flirtation with former Vikings RB Dalvin Cook, who has a sketchy past: “We’re no better than yahoos in Lincoln, Neb.; Norman, Okla.; Lansing, Mich., or throughout the SEC where police cars carry the latest team yearbooks to identify perps.”
- Mushnick again, on that lack of sophistication: “(New Yorkers) even boo visiting-team pitchers for throwing to first to keep the runner close, as if we just can’t figure that out.”
- Headline at the onion.com: “Deshaun Watson: ‘I’ve Learned From My Mistake Of Using My Own Name At Massage Parlours’
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The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author, and do not necessarily reflect the position of this publication.
