The mantle in the living room of the McCurdy family’s home is clustered with beautiful photos of their smiling family of six — a mantle carefully curated and designed by Kayla McCurdy, whose creative soul was very suddenly lost to cancer just earlier this month.
“Every day, I'd come home and I always tried to keep her laughing and smiling,” said Robert McCurdy, Kayla’s husband. “She had a talent about her that nobody could match. And nobody cared more about everybody.”
Kayla had been living with diffuse systemic scleroderma, a chronic autoimmune disease often described as turning to stone from the inside out, because it causes hardening of the skin, most commonly the fingers and other joints.
Scleroderma is a painful condition, affecting not only the skin but also the immune system and internal organs, especially the lungs.
“She suffered, and you never thought about it because you could never see it. To just look at her pictures, you wouldn't know how sick she was,” said Doris Meyers, Kayla’s mother, gesturing to the photos on the mantle.
A love for the holidays and helping others
Despite the difficulty of her condition, Kayla rarely ever let it stop her. She was extremely crafty, a master of do-it-yourself home decor and thrifting, crocheting, painting.
Christmas was her favourite holiday, said Robert, and she put all of her efforts into making it magical for her family.
“The house, every little inch, would be like Christmas wonderland,” said Robert. “She'd fight through the pain because she knew that we'd appreciate it and she wanted us to feel that magic.”
Between decorating and baking nearly every minute before the holiday, Kayla also found time to think about those outside of her home. About six years ago, Kayla began a Christmas sponsorship program for underprivileged kids.
She worked with local sponsors to make sure that each of the families who approached her had gifts for Christmas Day, even going so far as making them gifts herself if needed.
“She'd have this sponsorship program for absolutely anybody, and it was built on the honour system,” said Robert. “[She made sure] they had something under the tree when it came Christmas time. She bent over backwards, just for everybody. She wanted everybody to be happy.”
Her health prevented her from running her sponsorship program over the last two years, but it never prevented her from being involved with her family.
“She was so proud of the kids and loved them so much,” said Robert. “She made sure the kids were more than taken care of, made sure they were happy and wanted to know about their day.”
A family in mourning
Scleroderma more commonly develops in women, at any time in their life, and often leads to lung cancer because the chronic disease kills tissue in the lungs, which can become necrotic as it sits. In Kayla’s case, she developed an extremely rare and aggressive form of lung cancer that migrated upwards.
Doctors discovered the cancerous mass in her lungs in early September after a trip to the emergency room, and within a handful of weeks, that mass had grown and spread to an inoperable tumour in her brain.
Kayla was rushed to Regina for tests, before returning to the hospital in Moose Jaw with a bleak diagnosis.
“They sent her back to Moose Jaw with three weeks [to live], and then she died within 12 hours,” said Doris.
She was able to say goodbye to her family, spending one-on-one time with her children and husband, but the suddenness of her death left the family feeling lost.
“Everybody keeps asking me if there's anything they can do,” said Robert. “And there's only one thing I want or need and nobody can give me it. I just want to see that smile again.”
Frustrations with the health system have bubbled within the McCurdy family, especially with hindsight regarding her condition. Kayla’s cancer was rare and progressed very quickly, but they feel more could have been done to help her.
“Had they just removed [the mass] back in back in September when they found it, she might still be here,” said Robert. “[But] the radiologist described it as a benign, tiny little thing, not to be worried about. So, they dismissed it.”
“They didn't know what to do with it,” said Doris. “And the one [specialist] she needed the most cancelled her appointment in January, and that was her lung specialist, and never rescheduled.”
Community
Kayla was just 32 years old and having been diagnosed with scleroderma eight years before, she was very conscious of her own health condition.
“She always, always praying, making sure that everybody's okay and she was never worried about herself,” said Robert. “She said to us quite often that she's not worried about dying. She's worried about leaving us.”
The family is grateful for all of the help from the community in the wake of their loss, and they offered a few words of advice for those who may be in a similar position in the future.
“The biggest thing is to pay attention,” said Doris. “You've got to pay attention to those warning signs [and] don’t let doctors push it away. . . and be aware of these rare diseases.”
“That, and life is too short,” said Robert.
A GoFundMe page has been set up for the McCurdy family, as well as a direct deposit account at Conexus Credit Union for those uncomfortable with the online platform. Individuals depositing to the account just need to stop at the local branch and request their deposit be placed in the Kayla McCurdy Trust account.
The family is graciously welcoming any support and will use any financial assistance they receive to cover remaining medical bills and ambulance fees, after which they will create a trust fund for the kids.
The community has also planned a burger and pizza night fundraiser for the family on the evening of Dec. 1, taking place at The Canadian Brewhouse. Tickets are $20 and available by contacting Linda Ambrose at 1 (306) 691-5001.
