This weekend The Lion King opens in theatres. No, it is not 1994. It is a live action (???) remake of the animated classic. Over the past few months we have seen remakes of Dumbo and Aladdin — and that’s just from Disney. In late 2018, A Star is Born was released. It was a remake of a remake of a remake. Hollywood sure does love taking a beloved film and then redoing it, often with mixed results. This week, we are focusing on five classic films that, hopefully, will never receive the remake treatment.
Citizen Kane (1941)
Look, not everyone “gets” Citizen Kane. I get it — it’s an old, black-and-white film about a guy who owned a bunch of newspapers, loosely based off another old guy who owned a bunch of newspapers. So, it’s probably a hard sell for the younger crowd.
While this film has received its share of praise over the years, it is certainly warranted. To call Citizen Kane innovative is putting it mildly. Some of the film techniques we see today were created for this film.
Besides, Orson Welles is at his absolute best, both in front of and behind the camera.
The payoff for this film is the mystery behind Kane’s last word, “Rosebud.” If you don’t know the answer, you probably haven’t been paying to pop culture over the last, say, 50 years. Please, Hollywood, never touch this one.
The Sound of Music (1965)
Appropriately, it is the music that really makes this such a great film — but that is made possible, in part, thanks to a wonderful performance from the legendary Julie Andrews. With apologies to Emily Blunt, who did a passable Julie Andrews impression in Mary Poppins Returns, there is only one Julie Andrews. The last thing anyone needs to see is Lady Gaga as Maria and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson as Captain Von Trapp. You simply can’t recapture the same magic.
Jaws (1975)
This is the film that helped create the idea of the summer blockbuster, so if you are tired of all these sequels, remakes, reboots, and superhero movies, you can (sort of) thank Jaws for that. This is a film that could not likely be remade today because it is doubtful that modern audiences and/or modern directors would have the patience that Steven Spielberg had. A hallmark of this film is its tension and anticipation. This is aided by the shark not being fully revealed until after the hour mark of the movie. I understand that when you go to see a creature feature, you expect to see a creature. After all, as Ian Malcolm put it in Jurassic Park — another Spielberg film — “Eventually you do plan to have dinosaurs on your dinosaur tour, right? But in this case, the shark is only on screen for about four minutes. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. Jaws is perfect as it is. Leave it, and the shark, alone.
Back to the Future (1985)
Great Scott! Remaking Back to the Future would be a disaster! The film is a lot of fun, but any other actors would just pale in comparison to Michael J. Fox and Christopher Lloyd. Besides, driving something like a Tesla instead of a DeLorean just wouldn’t be the same. And travelling back to 1989 would just seem…odd. Instead of singing “Earth Angel” at the Enchantment Under Sea dance, would we get “Blame It on the Rain” by Milli Vanillli instead?
Uncle Buck (1989)
As with many of the films on the list, you simply cannot replace the lead actors. In this case, the entire film hinges on the late, great John Candy’s outstanding performance. I wouldn’t pass it by Hollywood to try a gender swap on the title role and have Melissa McCarthy run around doing her thing. But, again, there was only one John Candy. If someone suggests remaking Uncle Buck, reach for your drill.
