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Five for Friday: Worst Halloween candy

Five Halloween candy options that hardly anyone appreciates
halloween candy shutterstock
(Shutterstock)

Halloween is less than two weeks away. Everywhere you look, store shelves are bursting with all kinds of tasty treats. Whether you buy the candy for yourself (and who can resist?) or if you are shopping purely for trick-or-treaters, not all candy is created equal. While no one ever liked receiving toothbrushes, these treats were even worse. This week, we look at five candies that kids don’t appreciate receiving.

Bubble Gum

Gum sounds like a great idea but it only works in theory and not in practice. For years, kids would receive handfuls of gum like Double Bubble. Once you got home you would shove them in your mouth, only to find they are rock hard. More often that not, you could practically chip a tooth on Halloween gum. 

Even if the gum was soft enough, the flavour of Halloween gum only lasts about five minutes. Of course, even five minutes is too long if you try chewing that gum that tastes like soap, which some people insist on handing out each year. (Does that make it more trick than treat?)

The bottom line is gum is not a good Halloween treat. Stick to something safe like a Kit Kat or a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup.

Wagon Wheels

I’m not sure if anyone still hands these out, but for many years they found their way into a kid’s loot bag. While Wagon Wheels can be enjoyable on their own, they were a poor choice for Halloween because they always ended up getting squished by everything else. If you are going to eat a Wagon Wheel, it is generally preferable to choose one that has not been smashed beyond recognition.

Raisins

Of course, some people do indeed like raisins. (Those people are wrong, by the way). Even if you are on Team Raisin, no one wants to get them in their loot bag on Halloween; there are simply too many better options. 

While the attempt to offer a healthier option is admirable, there are better ways to go about it. Why not choose to offer non-food items like stickers, bookmarks, or crayons? It would be an excellent opportunity to participate in the Teal Pumpkin Project, which helps kids with food allergies participate in trick-or-treating.

Kerr’s Molasses Kisses

If the most Canadian of Halloween traditions is being forced to make your costume work with a snowsuit, then a close second is receiving Kerr’s molasses kisses. 

Although they have been handed out on Halloween for many years now, it is not entirely clear if anyone actually enjoys them. Often, these candies simply get thrown out. Two years ago, a reporter from The National Post declared them to be the worst of all Halloween Candy. The folks at Kerr’s weren’t pleased with such recognition, but there is a compelling case to be made here. 

Please don’t be the person who buys these and gives them out. End the suffering.

Candy Corn

Candy corn is the one thing you either love or hate; there appears to be no middle ground. One thing is for sure though — kids don’t like receiving it on Halloween. Candy corn was recently named as the worst Halloween candy. It is worth noting, however, that candy corn has been listed as the most popular Halloween candy in seven U.S. states, including Michigan, Alabama, and Nevada. 

Some people dislike the taste, others the texture. Some don’t how hard stale candy corn can get. Regardless, people have strong opinions about the classic Halloween treat. Those who enjoy candy corn may have a fondness for it because it is only noticeable (or even available in some stores) for a short period of time each year.

Perhaps candy corn’s greatest failing is that it cannot possibly stack up against popular chocolate bars like Caramilk, Crispy Crunch, or Snickers.

Halloween is on Thursday, Oct. 31. Whatever you choose to hand out, be sure to stock up so you are prepared for all the trick-or-treaters who come knocking on your door!

The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author, and do not necessarily reflect the position of this publication.  

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